A Beginner's Guide to Invading Earth
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
The invitation to bring humanity into the galactic community of intelligent species was going horribly.
A trail of dead aliens seem to follow Jeff Abel's every step, each envoy and ambassador meeting an untimely end.
Is Jeff the hapless victim of some sinister plan, or is he the galaxy's scourge that needs to be stopped?
Is humanity's invitation about to be canceled?
A science fiction adventure novel, A Beginner's Guide to Invading Earth tells the story of a reclusive ex-computer programmer turned pot-washer who is the unwitting central figure of a plot to keep humanity from ever spreading beyond Earth.
With multiple aliens out to get him, Jeff Abel's only hope is an misfit mechanic from another world and a woman who might do anything to get off planet, including selling out her own kind.
looked back with dispassion. When Irving got to Oliop, Oliop took a step back. “You think it would be a good thing to save the Commons,” Irving said. “To continue with the never-ending interchange of ideas both putrid and banal and suffer with the pollution of our culture by ones such as this?” Irving stopped just opposite Jeff. It continued. “I've been working on humans and their languages. The contradictions, the shibboleth, the entirety of the self-important sleaze they organize into
bring it back out here for you.” “I could just go with you and help you make it,” she said. “No, I don't think so,” he said. “No one's supposed to be on the property. But I'll go grab you something and bring it back.” With that, he got into his truck and drove off, not noticing her face falling into a scowl. At his caretaker's lodge, he went to the kitchen and washed the dirt and paint from his hands. He popped open his cupboards. There wasn't much there but a few of his favorite staples. He
vacant. A bored, blond-furred clerk walked up to them as they entered. Beads and ribbons adorned his mane and arm hair. He held a roll of blue ribbon in one hand. The blond consulted a datapad, looked at the Grey. “Building protocols?” the blond asked. “Terminal twelve is available.” He stepped aside and pointed down a row of numbered, glowing machines. No one else used any of the terminals. “Anything else I can help you with?” “Yes,” Whistle said. The blond looked disappointed. “First,”
theater. They passed through an immaculately clean alleyway and into a rear parking lot that led to another street. “Wait,” the cop said. “Hold it.” They stopped. The cop was about to speak, gestured with his gun towards the center of town. He didn't know where to start. Jeff felt glad he wasn't the confused one for a change. “You're wondering what's going on,” Jordan said helpfully. “An alien ship just crashed in your town,” Jeff said. “We were flying it, but we're not aliens. Well, he is.”
well-trafficked public spaces. They drove towards one tiny, unobtrusive little bunker set between taller structures dedicated to the manufacturing and maintaining of the Commons transportation and machinery. The bunker had always been there. No one questioned its purpose; it never needed maintenance or security, and it didn't show up on any city app that could label it with a function or show that it was assigned to any Commons department. Any being that saw it assumed it must belong to someone