Anonymous Lawyer: A Novel
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He's a hiring partner at one of the world's largest law firms. Brilliant yet ruthless, he has little patience for associates who leave the office before midnight or steal candy from the bowl on his secretary's desk. He hates holidays and paralegals. And he's just started a weblog to tell the world about what life is really like at the top of his profession.
Meet Anonymous Lawyer. The summer's about to start, and he's got a new crop of interns. But he's also got a few things bothering him: The Jerk, his bitter rival, is determined to beat him out for the chairman's job. And Anonymous Wife is spending his money as fast as he can make it. And there's that secret blog he's writing, which is just a perverse bit of fun until he gets an e-mail from someone inside the firm who knows he's its author.
that could damage his father’s reputation, but anything I’d be able to use to get him on my side would be great. Thanks. To: Anonymous Lawyer From: Anonymous Niece Date: Wednesday, May 31, 7:02 PM He e-mailed me the other day to ask if I had any freshman dorm recommendations. I don’t think that’s what you’re looking for. Honestly I’m not sure what you’re looking for. Good luck with the meeting, I guess. You seem a little bit crazy the past few days though. To: Anonymous Niece From:
fools summer associates—the naïve law students we bring on as interns each summer, who’ll come back after graduation and replace all the attorneys who’ve left. When I drop a detail into a conversation—something I learned about them when they interviewed back in the fall—they think I care. I don’t. “How’d the year at the law school newspaper finish up?” “You remember?” “Of course I remember. You’re quite an impressive student. I’m so glad to have you aboard this summer.” “Thanks, I appreciate
good as it gets. See those two associates standing in the corner?” “Sure.” “The one on the left used to be interesting. The one on the right used to be a woman.” “That’s . . . odd.” “That’s life at a law firm.” “Is it worth it?” he asked. “What’s the difference? Go get some more lobster.” “You want your son to grow up to be a lawyer?” I looked at Anonymous Son. “For now I just want him to figure out how to get the meat out of a lobster claw. Good skill to have. Important no matter what he
you. Saturday, May 13 The summer program starts on Monday, and I’m hosting a party this afternoon to thank everyone in advance for making this the best summer yet. I’m up early waiting for the guys with the tent to arrive. I undersold the party as a barbecue, but it’s actually a surf-and-turf buffet, after a cocktail hour and some music from a three-piece string ensemble I dropped a few grand on. I made the maid stay late last night to ensure everything would be perfect. I realized this morning
Okay, I get it. I see how this could really work. And all of that other stuff, that sexy stuff? At some point maybe we can get back to that. But getting together on Sunday can’t happen. If you stepped foot in my house, my wife would divorce me in an instant. I’ll take you golfing on Monday, you’ll do your Bombshell thing, and I’ll just stay out of the way. You get proof that The Jerk is stealing money, I’ll take it to the executive committee, and they’ll make me chairman. And then I’ll make you