Books of Adam: The Blunder Years
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
Adam Ellis knew it was time to leave art school when a fellow student presented her final project to the class: "I put a condom on the Virgin Mary," she announced, unveiling a cheap figurine sheathed in latex. The professor loved it.
Baffled by the praise his classmate receives, and intent on becoming an artist on his own terms, Adam plots his escape to Portland, Oregon to begin his life in the real world--only to realize that adulthood is a lot harder than it looks.
Based on the blog of the same name, BOOKS OF ADAM details Adam's hilarious trials and tribulations in his attempt to become a functioning member of society. From his arrest after shoplifting a bottle of chocolate milk to a misguided attempt to make friends that lands him in a shack with a hippie couple who have just skinned a rabbit and are trying to entice him into a three-some, Adam is an amicable guy who can't seem to keep himself out of trouble.
Paired with his signature black and white illustrations, Adam's stories weave together an uproariously funny and ultimately charming narrative about a young man trying to find his place in the world.
squatting. I heard a small strained grunt emerge from her. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I could only stare. I was paralyzed. From my few short years in Cub Scouts, I knew how to escape a moose attack and how to make a splint, but nothing in the handbook had prepared me for this. Had I been able to form words, I don’t know what I would have said. “Excuse me, miss, would you mind defecating elsewhere?” I was too terrified to move in case she noticed me, so I just watched, horrified.
dining hall cleared out. Secretly I thought, I wonder how often Jesus was concerned about parking tickets. During the dinner period, the mother stood motionless with her arms folded, seemingly content to monitor her daughters’ work. They were helpful enough and did the job dutifully, although more leisurely than was necessary. At the very least neither of them complained when they got splashed with murky dishwater, which was often. Many of the patrons seemed to have Tourette’s of the limbs,
tar heroin from now on. I slipped back into slumber, thinking I might be getting too old for this kind of thing. The next day I figured some relaxing beach time was in order to remedy the previous night’s unbridled terror. I had come to Hawaii to relax and get centered, not have a heart attack. I located a bookstore on my phone and set off in search of something I could read in a day or two. Something light and unchallenging, I thought. Perhaps some paranormal teen fiction featuring a love
when my embarrassed, guilty expression made it clear that I was in fact telling the truth, her face rendered the same look of pity I’d received from the security guard. “This is ridiculous, Adam. What is wrong with you?” She set the bill down on the counter and picked up the telephone, then dialed the number of the grocery store. “Yeah, hi,” she said into the receiver a few moments later. “We just received a bill for five hundred dollars, for chocolate milk… Adam Ellis… Yes… Yes, I understand
get there. When we arrived at their house, we were in a part of Portland I’d never seen before: some grungy suburb that wouldn’t be out of place in a Harmony Korine movie. Their house was a shabby hovel decorated lovingly with uncollected garbage and discarded bits of furniture. I noticed a few broken appliances leaning against the side of the house, which seemed to be sinking slightly on one side. I passed by a homemade wind chime dangling from their hovel-porch that should’ve sent my