Doctor On Toast
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In this riotously funny comedy Dr Grimsdyke’s genius for disaster is given full rein. He falls in love with a model, only to find she is already married. His much-anticipated cruise is an unmitigated disaster and his role as Sir Lancelot’s biographer leads them both into misadventure in the extreme. And then there is the hypochondriac the Bishop of Wincanton, the murder specialist Dr Mcfiggie, not to mention the most alarming girl from Paris. With such potential pitfalls, it is not surprising that Grimsdyke and Sir Lancelot avoid imprisonment by only the narrowest of margins.
shortly. ‘Now, you two – what do you want to look at first? Eh? Damnation! Didn’t you go before you left home? Grimsdyke!’ ‘Sir?’ ‘You take charge of that side of the operations. As both these infants seem to be suffering from congenital hypoplasia of the bladder, I shall attempt to seek refuge from the elements in that kiosk until their symptoms are relieved.’ When we got back Sir Lancelot was shivering, and Randolph announced he wanted a ride on an elephant. ‘I doubt very much if you’ll
Easily catch things.’ ‘Another with legs, dear,’ chipped in Humphrey. ‘How about a cocktail in my cabin before lunch?’ I suggested. ‘Darling, I’d love to, but I’ve got to have my hair done.’ ‘Well, before dinner?’ ‘I’ve a date to try on some costumes for Humphrey.’ ‘Before lunch tomorrow, then?’ ‘Oh, all right, darling.’ I gave a laugh. ‘After all, we’ve got three whole weeks ahead of us, haven’t we?’ ‘Yes, I suppose we have, darling.’ I went back to my cabin feeling pretty pleased with
we’ve got to do is get her there, and look jolly quick about it. Apart from anything else, I expect they’re playing the overture over and over again waiting for her.’ ‘Where do you think you are, madame?’ Miles burst out. ‘Où croyez-vous que vous êtes?’ She looked surprised behind the hat. ‘Mais c’est Willie’s Club, n’est-ce pas?’ ‘Willie’s Club!’ muttered Miles. ‘Dear old Willie’s Club?’ I exclaimed. ‘But I’m a member. Willie and I were great pals in the days when I was one of the lads at St
every time I felt a bit off-colour–’ ‘Fishwick always takes very good care of himself, Sir Lancelot.’ ‘Another way of saying the feller’s a shocking hypochondriac, as I could have told you years ago. I wonder what the devil he did with my fountain-pen in the end, anyway?’ We filed into the court, which was all carved oak canopies, ink-stained forms and varnish, and struck me as a cross between a revivalist chapel and the lecture room at St Swithin’s. There were more seedy-looking chaps
there is the embarrassing presence of the shipping company’s largest shareholder, a passenger over board and blackmail. The Captain’s Table is a tale of nautical misadventure and mayhem packed with rib-tickling humour. ‘An original humorist with a sly wit and a quick eye for the ridiculous’ – Queen Doctor and Son Recovering from the realisation that his honeymoon was not quite as he had anticipated, Simon Sparrow can at least look forward to a life of tranquillity and order as a respectable