Fake Science 101: A Less-Than-Factual Guide to Our Amazing World
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
For years, readers have flocked to the Fake Science site for scientifically flavored information. The research there has been lauded by Mental Floss as "inaccurate and ridiculous in every way," praised by the Guardian as "brilliantly false," heralded by io9 as "amazing," and noted by Google as "a website."
Now readers can finally share the freshest discoveries of the Fake Science lab. Larded with hundreds of footnotes, illustrations, and a small amount of lard (it reduces paper manufacturing costs), Fake Science 101 is a completely new truth-sterilized textbook.
our cosmos may just be the beginning. Many scientists believe that parallel universes exist, especially after they’ve read some paperbacks and had a little too much to drink. For now, these possibilities are purely speculative, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t put lots of numbers and symbols on a chalkboard.1 We may one day even visit parallel universes, if we invent a space-time-travel machine or find an old amulet in an antique store that promises strange powers to the person who wears it.
explains how even seashells can do math better than you. To do physics, you’ll need a few basic mathematical tools.3 Physicists frequently use “derivatives,” which allow them to copy the work of previous critics.4 They also use “integration,” in an attempt to convince normal people to integrate people like them. Though the calculus becomes more complex, you can fake a lot of it by drawing squiggly lines. Ninety percent of being a physicist is writing E=mc2 on chalkboards. Classical
compound machines, which multiply the multiplied.3 You can use simple machines in many different ways, from telling your day laborers to use them to telling your driver to use them. Even your personal chef can benefit from your knowledge of machines he should be using. The most famous simple machines are worth learning about in detail, and since they are simple, it shouldn’t seem too daunting. The Lever: This basic machine can be seen everywhere from the playground to the corporate boardroom,
to Unlearn Later Every scientist’s education has to begin somewhere. Though ideally the ages of two to four would consist entirely of periodic table memorization, some scientists wait until entering school to learn about their world.1 Science is part of the curriculum in most early education, though few teachers even try to reconcile quantum mechanics and general relativity, since most of the time is spent coloring. Usually, you are introduced to the world through your environment. Teachers
Scientists have a variety of available career paths, one of which is a continued life in academia. As a professor, you’ll have an opportunity to thoroughly study your school’s policies concerning tenure. Assuming that you succeed as a fellow, adjunct professor, assistant professor, assistant professor’s secretary, and cafeteria manager, you’ll eventually be awarded a full professorship. With it comes the call to perform innovative new scholarship and make incredibly significant scientific