Fish In The Dark
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Fish in the Dark is the astonishing playwriting debut by Larry David, the multiple Emmy-winning star of Curb Your Enthusiasm and co-creator of Seinfeld. This sidesplitting play, a testimony to David's great writing talent, is also his first time on Broadway, in fact, his first time acting on stage since eighth grade. In Fish in the Dark Larry David stars as Norman Drexel, a man in his 50s who is average in most respects except for his hyperactive libido. As Norman and his family try to navigate the death of a loved one, old acquaintances and unsettled arguments resurface with hilarious consequences.
Fish in the Dark has its world premiere on Broadway at the Cort Theatre on March 5, 2015, starring Larry David.
NORMAN No. FABIANA . . . Well I know one way. Norman puts the sponge down, gives her his full attention. NORMAN You do? FABIANA . . . Yes, I do. NORMAN What is it? FABIANA What if Sidney tells your mother to give me the money? NORMAN What are you talking about? FABIANA Listen to me . . . She thinks Diego is Sidney, so we have Diego tell her as Sidney. NORMAN That’s crazy. FABIANA Why? We just have “Sidney” pay her a little visit tonight. NORMAN Oh, it’s impossible. Even if I agreed to
all your fault. Scene 6 The same hospital lounge from Act 1. Norman is sitting on the couch, waiting. After a few beats, the elevator doors open and Fabiana steps out. Norman is surprised to see her. NORMAN What are you doing? FABIANA What am I doing? I want to know what’s going on and I’m not leaving until I find out! NORMAN I don’t know. I haven’t spoken to the doctor yet. He’s in there with her now. FABIANA Oh, this is so upsetting. This has been very hard on Diego. NORMAN Oh, it’s been
a catastrophe of biblical proportions for that to happen. ARTHUR (to Michelle) Pick a date. Any date in the last forty years. BRENDA Seriously? ARTHUR (ignoring, to Michelle) Name one. MICHELLE (confused) Um . . . November 25, 1997. BRENDA It was the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. I opened the door for the paper, but it hadn’t been delivered. Then I had a sesame seed bagel. I dunked it in my coffee, which Norman didn’t like at all. NORMAN You don’t dunk bagels. Who dunks bagels? Goyim.
FABIANA (through tears) Then why bother with the dishwasher? It’s like washing your hands before you shower. NORMAN Very good point, Fabiana. I must say, I’m no fan of the dishwasher. I prefer to do it by hand. I have much more confidence in a hand wash. FABIANA Well if you want me to rinse them off, I can rinse them off. NORMAN Just something to keep in the back of your head. FABIANA Okay. Gloria emerges from Sidney’s room, passes Fabiana, and gives her a funny look. GLORIA Oh . . .
younger than him; much wealthier, better-looking, and divorced. MICHELLE A voluptuous, full-of-life blonde who is dating Arthur and works as a notary for their father’s lawyer. DOCTOR STILES A doctor at the hospital where Sidney is staying. GLORIA Mother of Norman and Arthur, early to mid-70s, bad wig and all. FABIANA Puerto Rican housekeeper at Norman and Brenda’s house, early 40s. NATALIE Norman and Brenda’s daughter, early 20s. GREG Natalie’s goofy boyfriend. ROSE Sidney’s