How it Works: The Husband (Ladybird Books for Grown-ups)

How it Works: The Husband (Ladybird Books for Grown-ups)

Jason Hazeley

Language: English

Pages: 56

ISBN: 0718183568

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub


From bestselling authors Jason Hazeley and Joel Morris - a nugget of wisdom in the phenomenal Ladybirds for Grown Ups series. This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. Also available: How it Works: The Husband How it Works: The Wife How it Works: The Mum The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis The Ladybird Book of the Hangover The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness The Ladybird Book of the Shed The Ladybird Book of Dating The Ladybird Book of the Hipster

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He may look complicated, but he is in fact very simple. He runs on sausages and beer. The husband knows many things. For example, he knows how many stairs there are, in case he arrives home unable to see them properly. The husband likes to do simple repairs, like changing the washer on a tap. Afterwards he likes to talk at great length about what a struggle it was, and will want to be treated as if he has invented a machine that turns farts into gold. The husband has a very big memory. He

least it will be logical. Adrian’s wife sometimes cries herself to sleep. The Publishers gratefully acknowledge assistance provided by Sir Penius Wroughshod, F.B.S.H., Executive Secretary of the British Society of Husbands, in compiling this book. MICHAEL JOSEPH UK | USA | Canada | Ireland | Australia India | New Zealand | South Africa Michael Joseph is part of the Penguin Random House group of companies whose addresses can be found at global.penguinrandomhouse.com First published 2015

not talking. In Japan, you can buy a robot husband. This is M1, a fully motorised electronic husband. He can move furniture, barbecue, clear gutters, carve roast dinners, install TVs, kick and catch balls, and is even programmed to apologise. Sadly, scientists cannot work out how to stop him burping. Glyn explains himself very badly. This is so he can say he is misunderstood. Husbands like to meet with friends for a chat. This husband has been talking to his friends for five and a half

hours about which Doctor Who would win in a game of hide-and-seek. He has forgotten to ask whether his friends’ wives and children are still living with them, or even alive. As the husband grows older, he starts to make lots of funny little noises. He sighs as he gets out of a chair, and talks like Inspector Clouseau when he feels conversation has dried up. He also pom-pom-poms as he goes from room to room. This is to remind himself that he’s still here. Nerys and Ross are now the parents

of a baby boy. Ross was there for the birth. Nerys would have preferred him to be here, but he was there. Nerys is delighted to be a mum, and cannot stop looking at her newborn. Ross is looking at the nurses. Husbands like nurses. Helen complains that Stuart spends too much time on his computer and telephone. “Let’s have a family Sunday without them,” says Helen. “Just you, me and Sally.” Stuart has bought a newspaper that weighs more than Sally. “Shh,” says Stuart. Nigel is out for a

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