Measly Middle Ages (Horrible Histories)
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What on earth happened in the measly Middle Ages? Well... lots of really rotten things, actually! In the Middle Ages, the world was full of wild women, mad monks, naughty knights and crazy kings and queens! So read on if you want to know... * a genuine jester's joke * why chickens had their bottoms shaved * what ten-year-old treacle was used for Plus, you can find out all about miserable Medieval monks, the dreaded Black Death, and schools that really knew how to make the kids suffer! And there are gruesome games and revolting recipes to try at home as well!
given a challenging treat. They could drink as much of the ale as they wanted, free … so long as they stayed on their feet. If they sat down they had to pay. Foul food facts 1 Butchers were banned from slaughtering animals in the City of London. They’d been in the habit of dumping the guts on the pavement outside the Grey Friars’ monastery. A Winchester butcher killed a cow on the pavement outside his shop, while 15th-century Coventry cooks threw chicken guts out of their kitchen windows into
in command? What would you have done in these famous battles of the measly Middle Ages? 1 Hastings, 14 October, 1066 Armies: King Harold of England v. Duke William of Normandy. The first major battle in the Norman Conquest. Battle: • 9:00 a.m. Harold’s English army are sitting on Senlac Hill, tired but happy to defend the place. • The Normans have three lines of attack – archers, followed by foot-soldiers followed by knights on horseback. • The first Norman attack fails – the archers are
and Hennebont was saved. John de Montfort escaped and hurried home to his warrior wife. What did the wimp do next? Help her? Take over as army leader? Give her a thank-you kiss? No! He died! How very inconsiderate. Madame de Montfort carried on the war for her son. She went mad, was captured by the English and locked away for 30 years till she died. Jeanne la Pucelle Jeanne was a French farmer’s daughter … probably! (Some nutty historians say she was in fact the daughter of the Queen of
Vikings vanquished them. These were the Dark Ages. (No jokes about them being called ‘Dark’ because there were a lot of ‘knights’ around in those days.) But in 1066 the Normans finally nobbled them. Even teachers know that William the Conqueror landed in 1066 and won the Battle of Hastings. The Nasty Normans took over. These Normans were Vikings who’d settled in Northern France. They wore pointy hats. And who can blame them? They’d probably heard the story of King Geoffrey of Brittany… King
with this jolly piece of writing! He wrote it as an exercise for his pupils to copy out in Latin – and as more than a little hint to his pupils: ‘This is what will happen to you if you don’t do as you are told!’ Criminal capers Henry II’s laws were really needed by the poor people of England. While kings and barons fought each other, the bullies in the country took the law into their own hands. The Middle Ages were wild and dangerous times. But it wasn’t just the poor peasants who turned to