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A collection of irreverant rhymes featuring characters from fairy tales, fables and nursery rhymes - as you've never seen them before! From the tortoise and the hare and Hansel and Gretel to Ali Baba and Aladdin, these traditional stories will never seem the same again once you have had a taste of Roald Dahl's hilarious verse and Quentin Blake's suitably lively illustrations. An inventive collection for older children and adults alike, Rhyme Stew bubbles over with Roald Dahl's extraordinary humour and imagination.
telephone And asked to speak to Mister Hare, And said, “Hello, it’s Ratty here.” The Hare said, “Hello Rat, what’s new? And how are things tonight with you?” Rat answered, “Would you pay a lot To hear about an evil plot? Would you, for instance, give your shirt To know who’s going to do you dirt?” There was a silence on the line, Then Hare cried, “Who’s the rotten swine? Come on now, Ratty, tell me true! You know I’d do the same for you!” The Rat said, very soft and sly, “No go, old
the royal twit. The brainy men all went along To see that nothing should go wrong. The tailor said, “Strip naked, sire. This suit’s so warm you won’t require Your underclothes or pants or vest Or even hair upon your chest.” And now the clever Mister Ho Put on the most terrific show Of dressing up the naked King In nothing – not a single thing. “That’s right sir, slip your arm in there, And now I’ll zip you up right here. Do you feel comfy? Does it fit? Or should I take this in a
And suddenly, surprise, surprise, In front of Ali Baba’s eyes, The mighty rockface opened wide To show a mammoth cave inside. Then all the forty thieves careered Inside the cave and disappeared. Al knew at once that he had heard A very secret magic word. From now on he, if he was right, Could open any door in sight. He ran for home, he couldn’t wait. He dashed in through his garden gate And stood, quite out of breath, before His humble little cottage door. He paused and counted
millionairess in the nude Had to be forcibly subdued. She cried, “My emerald bracelet’s gone! I know quite well I had it on!” Old men, astounded at their luck, Forgot themselves and ran amok. Plump thighs were tweaked and bottoms pinched, And finally a duke was lynched. Such chaos in the corridor No one had ever seen before! And Ali Baba thought, By gosh, I’m awfully glad that I’m not posh. I wouldn’t want to go round nude Like this lot here. They’re all half-stewed! They’re
parents really, in those days, Agree to read such gruesome plays To little children in the night? And did they never die of fright? It might have been okay, who knows, If there’d been humour in the prose. Did I say humour? Wilhelm Grimm? There’s not a scrap of it in him.) I’ll cut the grizzly ending short, But even so I think I ought To tell you gently what came next. I’ll make it brief so don’t be vexed. Just when the stove is nice and hot And water’s boiling in the pot (The pot’s