Royce: The life, times, best jokes and funniest photos of America's favorite clean comedian

Royce: The life, times, best jokes and funniest photos of America's favorite clean comedian

Royce Elliot

Language: English

Pages: 124

ISBN: 2:00263660

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub


A joke book from comedian Royce Elliot

A Sample:

Tea, Sandwiches and Hardcore Pornography

I'm Dying Up Here: Heartbreak and High Times in Stand-up Comedy's Golden Era

Now That's Funny!: Jokes and Stories from the Man Who Keeps America Laughing

Jokes for Men Only
















"And now," booms an unseen voice in the darkness, "Dan's Celebrity Theater is proud to present Royce Elliott." "And who the hell is Royce Elliott?" asks a woman at our table in Don Laughlin's Riverside Resort Casino. It is a question she will not ask again. For within seconds she joins a crowd of nearly 700 people who are rocked with convulsive laughter at the non-stop one-liners of the most successful comic based in Peoria, Ill. Royce Elliott is in the big time these days. On this particular

a laugh with friends and family in Vegas. *Friends taking it easy; Royce and Pete Bella at Bally's. 21 20 ~o~ce schmoo~ the law, but fails to esca~ his ~rebel' r~putation. Royce and ' his gang' oottov~) 1;{: lO n[,ht) R~er Monr~ Skinny, the man himself and Quent Yerby. (k.IJ., top hlO •0 YCC serves" as Marshall for the Arthritis Foundation Christmas Pande. "uug l issues c~ 6ackstage at Bally's with a well-known securil)' gtwd "The wriung on rJus photo Amen~~(; to 'COCK 1-!IM UP FOREVER."

end of the hall. The house detective came around around four a.m. and pounded on the door. He said, "Have you got a woman in there?" I said no and he threw one in. * * * My wife thought Ben Gay was a hairdresser. 4J 1 acccidentally brushed my teeth with Preparation H and my gums shrank. * * * His idea of safe sex is a padded headboard. * * * His idea of going formal is riding in a black pickup truck * * * A guy went into a saloon where there was a big poker game. He asked if his dog

before he knew he was 12. 67 "\ He was so dumb in school they used to lead him off in the spelling bee to get rid of him. * * * He thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company. * * * He thought Dairy Queen was a milkman with high heels. * * * Karl Malden stole his travelers' checks. * * * He called weight-watchers and they hung up on him. 6a His son went to the father and son banquet with the milkman. * * * His mom used to rent a baby to take to church. * * * 6Q OL SKINNY * *

answer number seven. The smartest kid in the class wrote "l don't know the answer" and Billy wrote "Me neither." * * * He was one of the first guys in college to wear brown and white shoes. Then he lost the brown one. * * * He said he would never go ice fishing again. It took him eight hours to cut a hole big enough for the boat. * * * I asked Billy, "How are you?" He said, "Not too good. I had to shoot my dog." l asked, "Was he mad?" And he said, "He wasn't too happy about it." 8Q He got

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