The Darwin Awards III
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves fromit, The Darwin Awards III includes more than one hundred brand new, hilariously macabre mishaps and misadventures.
From a sheriff who inadvertently shot himself twice, to the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw; from a farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag to the man crushed by the branch he just trimmed, The Darwin Awards III proves again that when it comes to stupidity, no species does it like we do.
Featuring scientific and safety discussions and filled with illustrations depicting inspiring examples of evolution in action, The Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is.
man—dare we call him “winner?”—who discarded the explosive closest to the point of detonation was the victor of this battle of wills. Their blatant disregard for personal safety was matched only by their foolish bravery. Claudio was our winner, holding one of the ﬁreworks in his mouth a bit too long and thereby earning praise for his “courage” at his funeral. Reference: O Estado de São Paulo Conﬁrmed reports of men who survived “Fireworks Roulette” should warn participants that living with the
Effect Disqualiﬁed Darwin Award: Cop Cap Disqualiﬁed Darwin Award: Next Time Try a Taxi Disqualiﬁed Darwin Award: Fatal Cue Disqualiﬁed Darwin Award: Midnight Snack Disqualiﬁed Darwin Award: Rock Climbing Priorities Disqualiﬁed Darwin Award: Slick Shit Slip 206 209 210 212 214 216 218 221 CONTENTS Disqualiﬁed Darwin Award: Speed Bump Disqualiﬁed Honorable Mention: Life’s a Gas Disqualiﬁed Honorable Mention: Tainted Turkey Disqualiﬁed Honorable Mention: Wild Mushrooms XIII 222 224 226 228
that the deputy’s dog was not allowed on a public street without a lead and muzzle. Now, only an exceedingly bold cadet would be presumptuous enough to tell a village deputy what to do, so the two men began to argue. Unable to resolve the matter by verbal means, the deputy ﬁnally pulled out a military RGD-5 hand grenade and threw it to the cadet’s feet. His well-trained dog immediately ran for the object and fetched it for his master . . . and man and dog met the same messy fate. Police are
hampered by the absence of proper tools,” so they improvised and used a steel tent peg as a hammer to nail the target to the carrier. While walking on the ﬁring range Sergeant Lowe spotted and picked up an M72A2 66mm LAW dud round that had not exploded upon impact with the target. The other men in the detail warned him to leave it on the ground and let the EOD (explosive ordinance detachment) handle it. Sergeant Lowe replied, “It’s just an old dud,” and, to illustrate the innocuous nature of the
quicker treatment, and fewer good stories languish in the dusty recesses of an overﬂowing inbox. Moderator Review Each submission is reviewed by a team of volunteer moderators who decide whether it’s a potential Darwin Award, Honorable Mention, or Personal Account. Anywhere from two to ﬁve moderators rate each story before it’s moved from the moderation queue to the public Slush Pile. Submissions that don’t make the cut are usually repeats, bizarre or macabre stories, or illustrations of poetic