The Dilbert Principle: A Cubicle's-Eye View of Bosses, Meetings, Management Fads & Other Workplace Afflictions
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The creator of Dilbert, the fastest-growing comic strip in the nation (syndicated in nearly 1000 newspapers), takes a look at corporate America in all its glorious lunacy. Lavishly illustrated with Dilbert strips, these hilarious essays on incompetent bosses, management fads, bewildering technological changes and so much more, will make anyone who has ever worked in an office laugh out loud in recognition.
The Dilbert Principle: The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage — management.
Since 1989, Scott Adams has been illustrating this principle each day, lampooning the corporate world through Dilbert, his enormously popular comic strip. In Dilbert, the potato-shaped, abuse-absorbing hero of the strip, Adams has given voice to the millions of Americans buffeted by the many adversities of the workplace.
Now he takes the next step, attacking corporate culture head-on in this lighthearted series of essays. Packed with more than 100 hilarious cartoons, these 25 chapters explore the zeitgeist of ever-changing management trends, overbearing egos, management incompetence, bottomless bureaucracies, petrifying performance reviews, three-hour meetings, the confusion of the information superhighway and more. With sharp eyes, and an even sharper wit, Adams exposes -- and skewers -- the bizarre absurdities of everyday corporate life. Readers will be convinced that he must be spying on their bosses, The Dilbert Principle rings so true!
age of four. But almost nobody complained about how confusing the spears were. Suddenly (in evolutionary terms) some deviant went and built the printing press. It was a slippery slope after that. Two blinks later and we're switching batteries in our laptop computers while streaking through the sky in shiny metal objects in which soft drinks and peanuts are served. I blame sex and paper for most of our current problems. Here's my logic: Only one person in a million is smart enough to invent a
allegedly true: • A vice president insists that the company's new battery-powered product be equipped with a light that comes on to tell you when the power is off. "This article originally a p p e a r e d in t h e Wall Street Journal on M a y 22, 1995. It got a h u g e r e s p o n s e a n d led to t h e c r e a t i o n of this book. 12 12 THE DILBERT PRINCIPLE • An employee suggests setting priorities so the company will know how to apply its limited resources. The manager's response: "Why
same time, I was fortunate to be promoted to a new job. As with all large companies, the allotment of cubicle and office space is associated with grade level (for example, if you are grade X, you get a sixty-four-square-foot cubicle; if you are grade Y, you get a one-hundred-square-foot office). Finally, after a few diligent years of corporate service, my grade level afforded me an office. This is all well and good; however, my grade level did not specify nice, wooden office furniture. I still
(I swear I am not making this up) would visit the chosen employees cubicle bearing balloons, a coffee mug, and a certificate of merit. This would presumably encourage us to work harder. The plan was killed (thank God) because nobody would agree to be the bunny. UNDERVALUING EMPLOYEE CONTRIBUTIONS Employees like to feel that their contributions are being valued. That's why managers try to avoid that sort of thing. With value comes selfesteem, and with self-esteem comes unreasonable requests for
of which makes your company uncompetitive. The solution is motivational talks. Gather your team together and put the "fire in their bellies" with your own brand of inspirational oratory. It's not important that your words carry any specific useful information. As I've already explained, information can never lead to anything good. The goal is to elevate the employees to a competitive frenzy, and for that you need not transfer any information. Here are some phrases that have been known to inspire