The Friars Club Encyclopedia of Jokes: Over 2,000 One-Liners, Straight Lines, Stories, Gags, Roasts, Ribs, and Put-Downs
H. Aaron Cohl
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
Finally in paperback-with lots of brand-new jokes from today's top comedians.
What could be funnier than a great joke? How about 2,000 great jokes? In this side–splitting compendium, revised and updated and featuring a new introduction by Drew Carey, members of the world-renowned Friars Club and other comedians provide zingers for every occasion, situation, and taste.
Organized alphabetically and by topic, this book is made for browsing, but it's also perfect for finding icebreakers for social occasions, adding a touch of humor to business speeches, and spicing up toasts.
Hundreds of the best-known comedians are represented, including Sarah Silverman, Ellen Degeneres, Lewis Black, Ray Romano, Milton Berle, Carol Burnett, George Burns, George Carlin, Johnny Carson, Billy Crystal, Phyllis Diller, Bob Hope, Alan King, Richard Lewis, Bob Newhart, Rita Rudner, Jerry Seinfeld, Robin Williams, and tons more.
theater district were crowded with peopl e hu rrying to get to the show, to do hi s pan handling. Si zing up a well -dressed gentleman, he lurched over and asked politely, "Sir, may I borrow a quarter?" The well-heeled man looked over the top of his glasses at the bum , cleared his throat, and quoted, " 'Neither a borrower nor a lender be.' William Shakespeare." The bum looked back at him and retorted," 'Up yours, asshole,' Dav id Mamet." Danny Kaye noted the difference betwee n comedy and
to the father that they ask the priest to talk to them. The mother went to the priest and made her request. He agreed, but said he wanted to see the younger boy first and alone. So the mother sent him to the priest. The priest sat the boy down across from the huge, impressive desk he sat behind . For about five minutes they just sat and stared at each other. Finally, the priest pointed his forefinger at the boy and asked, "Where is God?" The boy looked under the desk , in the corners of the
switches it on, and looks around the room . He sees a bird cage with a parrot in it. "Did you say that?" he asks the parrot . The parrot says again , "I can see you! Jesus can see you, tool" "Hah l So what? You're just a parrott" says the burglar. "I may be just a parrot," replies the parrot. "But Jesus is a Doberman!" A guy was in show business, he was a psychic. He knew the exact day he was going to die. The warden told him . HENNY YOUNGMAN I wonder if somewhere there's a gangster who's owned
hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back. ZsA ZsA CABOR I bring out the worst in my enemies and that's how I get them to defeat themselves. ROY COHN A man was walking down a narrow lane in Belfast, Northern Ireland, when a shadowy figure jumped out and blocked his way with a machine gun. "Don't move!" he commanded . "Are you a Protestant or a Catholic?" "Neither," gasped the fellow in relief. "''m Jewish." The gunman hit him with a burst of bullets, and smiled broadly as he said to
the passengers he had some good news and some bad news. "The bad news is that we're doing seven hundred and fifty miles per hour at thirty-two thousand feet, but we're lost. The good news is that we're making very good time." ]OEY ADAMS I had the chance to go to London a couple of months back. Had kind of a weird flight over, though, 'cause one of the flight attendants got very angry with me. I didn't eat all of my dinner. She said, "Si r, you really shouldn't waste all that food . There are