The Ginormous Book of Dirty Jokes: Over 1,000 Sick, Filthy and X-Rated Jokes

The Ginormous Book of Dirty Jokes: Over 1,000 Sick, Filthy and X-Rated Jokes

Language: English

Pages: 432

ISBN: 1569756600

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub


•What did the two lesbian frogs say to each other? We do taste like chicken!

•What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? Her ankles.

•The journalist asked the politician, “Your assistant said publicly that you have a small penis. Would you like to comment? “Yes, I would,” said the politician. “The truth is my assistant has a big mouth.”

•A guy walks in on his wife having sex with another man and says, “what the hell are you two doing?” His wife turns to her lover and says, “I told you he was stupid.”

•How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an altar boy.

If you think no joke is too raw as long as it’s funny—this is the book for you! This massive collection of laugh-out-loud and totally politically incorrect jokes is sure to have you and your friends rolling in hysterics.

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fresh OJ and freshly brewed coffee waiting for him, along with the morning paper and his 15-year-old son who is finishing his own breakfast. “Tell me, son,” he asks, “what happened last night?”’ “Well,” says the boy, “you came home so drunk you didn’t even know your own name. You nearly broke the door down, then you were sick in the hallway, then you knocked the furniture over and when mom tried to calm you down, you thought she was the police, so you gave her a black eye.” “Christ!” says the

really should get married in heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all. What if it doesn’t work out, they wonder. Are we stuck together forever? St. Peter returns after another month looking somewhat worn out. “Yes,” he informs the couple, “you can get married in heaven.” “Great,” says the couple, “but what if things don’t work out? Could we also get a divorce in heaven?” St. Peter, red-faced, slams his clipboard onto the ground. “What’s wrong?” exclaims the frightened couple. “Christ!” St.

doing that night?” The witness said, “He was fucking!!!” The judge told the witness, “You can’t say fuck in court.” So the lawyer asked the man again, “What was my client doing on that night?” “He was fucking!!!!” The judge said to him again, “Listen, if you say fuck again, I am going to hold you for 30 days for contempt of court.” So the lawyer rephrased his question and said, “Could you describe what my client was doing on that night?” The man thought for a moment and said this: “His pants were

Purple with rage, he hauled the man down the stairs and into the garage where he proceeded to secure the man’s dick in a vice. Utterly terrified, the man screamed, “Stop, stop! You’re not going to cut it off, are you? ARE YOU?” “Nope,” replied the construction worker. “You are—I’m going to set the garage on fire.” Q. How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? A. When his hand caught on fire. A man with a bad stomach ache goes to the doctor where he is told the illness is quite serious but

was a man sitting on his heels, shitting on the side of the road. She pointed this out. Khrushchev was livid and didn’t hesitate. “Driver, get out immediately and shoot that man!” The driver got out, walked up to the man with his gun drawn, spoke briefly, and then returned to the car. “Sir, I can’t shoot that man. He’s the Indian ambassador.” Joe: I got a problem. Ed: What’s the matter? Joe: Women. I just don’t understand them. Ed: Do you understand your TV? Joe: No. Ed: So what’s the problem?

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