The Swoop! Or How Clarence Saved England A Tale of the Great Invasion
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THE SWOOP! OR HOW CLARENCE SAVED ENGLAND: A TALE OF THE GREAT INVASION * * * P. G. WODEHOUSE * The Swoop! Or How Clarence Saved England: A Tale of the Great Invasion First published in 1909 ISBN 978-1-62012-075-0 Duke Classics © 2012 Duke Classics and its licensors. All rights reserved. While every effort has been used to ensure the accuracy and reliability of the information contained in this edition, Duke Classics does not assume liability or responsibility for any errors
I'd have come and wrung your neck like a chicken, and scattered you to the four corners of this dressing-room." "I'm glad I didn't," said Clarence. "Have you read this paper on the looking-glass?" "I have not read that paper on the looking-glass," replied Clarence, whose chief fault as a conversationalist was that he was perhaps a shade too Ollendorfian. "But I know its contents." "It's a lie!" roared the Grand Duke. "An infamous lie! I've a good mind to have him up for libel. I know very
disappear." Mr. Horatio Bottomley, in John Bull, said that there was some very dirty and underhand work going on, and that the secret history of the invasion would be published shortly. He himself, however, preferred any invader, even the King of Bollygolla, to some K.C.'s he could name, though he was fond of dear old Muir. He wanted to know why Inspector Drew had retired. The Daily Express, in a thoughtful leader, said that Free Trade evidently meant invaders for all. Mr. Herbert Gladstone,
armies when they met. The situation was a curious outcome of the modern custom of striking a deadly blow before actually declaring war. Until the moment when the enemy were at her doors, England had imagined that she was on terms of the most satisfactory friendship with her neighbours. The foe had taken full advantage of this, and also of the fact that, owing to a fit of absent-mindedness on the part of the Government, England had no ships afloat which were not entirely obsolete. Interviewed on
the subject by representatives of the daily papers, the Government handsomely admitted that it was perhaps in some ways a silly thing to have done; but, they urged, you could not think of everything. Besides, they were on the point of laying down a Dreadnought, which would be ready in a very few years. Meanwhile, the best thing the public could do was to sleep quietly in their beds. It was Fisher's tip; and Fisher was a smart man. And all the while the Invaders' Marathon continued. Who would be