The Ugly Joke Book

The Ugly Joke Book

Milt Rosen

Language: English

Pages: 0

ISBN: 0523418086

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub

Book by Rosen, Milt

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He looked at her face. He leaned over and bit the bed. " I took Frankenstein to see my wife." "There must have been a lot of screaming. " "I thought he'd never stop." * .. She had something that could melt a manher breath . .. " My boyfriend has terrible dandruff." " Give him Head and Shoulders." ''Really. But how do you give shoulders?" r -reas a41 01 JI8SJ94 UO!l::>ns· p,a4s 'apnu 841 U! UMOp l!S p,84S U94M 'lBJ OS SBM 948 She had so many wrinkles, she used to mark her face with a

"Oh, you've seen her." * * * She was a regular cave woman . .. that's where they kept her. * * * "My girl is a knockout." .. Is she that pretty?" .. No, she's just a good boxer." They wanted to put her in the ring , because she looked like a boxer. f Very ashamed of her gigantic bust, a woman went to a faith healer. He looked at her and said that faith could move mountains. So he pr·ayed. Her breasts became smaller and absolutely beautiful. But now she has two large lumps on her rear

so ugly, her phone doesn't eve:1 ring when she's in the shower. * * * She was very superstitious . She had a rabbit's foot . . . and one that was normal. * * A very fat woman got on a bus . "Isn't anybody going to offer me a seat?" One little fellow raised his hand, ''I'm willing to make a contribution." .. * When her parents left her on somebody's doorstep, they were arrested for tittering. They hung her and kissed the mistletoe. She looked as if she'd been beaten with an ugly stick.

traffic.. * * * Her face was like a road map-lots of folds. * Her face sticking out of a cellar door could start a hockey game. Her looks were always discussed . . . or was it disgust? She had beautiful eyes. It was a shame she had three of them . One good lipstick brought out her lips. One good sneeze brought out her teeth . He had affectionate eyes-one always kept looking at the other. Her mouth was so big, she could play the tuba from either end. He worshipped the ground she

difficult for a man to be ugly, but he tries very hard. She used tons of makeup until one night her boyfriend , bugged by the mess, dragged her down to the cosmetics factory. " See," he said, " no matter how much you use they can make more." She said , "I know, but I've got them working nights." "That's my girl. You just saw her in the flesh ." " Couldn't she get a better fitting?" * * * People thought she had bags under her eyes. Actually she was just wearing her cheeks up that season. *

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