You'll Never Nanny in This Town Again: The True Adventures of a Hollywood Nanny
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Hilarious and addictive, this chronicle of a small-town girl’s stint as a celebrity nanny reveals what really happens in the diaper trenches of Hollywood.
When Oregon native Suzanne Hansen becomes a live-in nanny to the children of Hollywood über-agent Michael Ovitz, she thinks she’s found the job of her dreams. But Hansen’s behind-the-scenes access soon gets her much more than she bargained for: working twenty-four hours a day, juggling the shifting demands of the Hollywood elite, and struggling to comprehend wealth unimaginable to most Americans, not to mention dealing with the expected tantrums and the unexpected tense–and intense–atmosphere in the house where she lives with her employers.
When the thankless drudgery takes its toll and Hansen finally quits, her boss threatens to blackball her from ever nannying in Hollywood again. Discouraged but determined, Hansen manages to land gigs with Debra Winger and then Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman. Attentive, welcoming parents with a relaxed attitude toward celebrity–looks like Hansen’s fallen into a real-life happy ending. But the round-the-clock workdays continue, rubbing some of the glitter off L.A. living, and Hansen’s not sure how much longer she can pretend to be Mary Poppins. Even bosses who treat her like family can’t help as she struggles to find meaning in her work while living in a town that seems to lack respect for nannies and everyone else who comes in the employee’s entrance–but without whom many showbiz households would grind to a halt.
Peppering her own journey with true stories and high drama experienced by other nannies to the stars, Hansen offers an intriguing, entertaining mix of tales from the cribs of the rich and famous. You’ll Never Nanny in This Town Again is a treat for everyone who is fascinated by the skewed priorities of Tinseltown, for anyone who has wondered how high-wattage supermoms do it all, and for readers who love peeking behind the curtains of celebrity, all of whom will devour this unparalleled–and unabashedly true–account of one girl’s tour of duty as Hollywood’s hired help.
From the Hardcover edition.
my friend. I could’ve stayed at that park forever, but I did have work to do. This time I’d be watching Max and both the girls. More work, but it seemed easier in some ways. This time I was in a different emotional space; I knew the gig was temporary, and I had applied to a nursing program that I was looking forward to starting. Max warmed up to me quickly, and this time I let myself enjoy him. Helping fly the kids to Danny’s movie set in Sante Fe sounded like a fantastic way to cap off my
doctor disagreed with his mentor, and I felt my loyalties switch quickly back to him. How long has this old guy been around? When’s the last time he had a refresher course? “I want to do a spinal tap,” the young doctor blurted out. “Are you kidding? You know whose child this is, don’t you?” the older doctor responded. “Yes, that’s why I want to call them right now and get permission.” “They’re on vacation,” I said. “But I’ve got an emergency number.” That’s when Grandpa Ovitz stepped in.
Christmas. I hadn’t known much about the Jewish religion, but NNI gave me sort of a Judaism for Dummies—tutoring on traditions, customs, and beliefs. (This had already come in handy at Rosh Hashanah and Passover.) One Friday night in December, Judy decided to light the menorah. Hanukkah struck me as a chance to reflect and think, and I was up for a little divine peace myself. We could have used some that day—rowdy and revved up probably best described the kids. But just as she lit the first
after my hair fiasco, but that was it. Had I ever missed a day of work? No. Did I ever complain (well, not out loud) or not do exactly what was asked of me? No. I offered to help even when I wasn’t asked. Did I say yes to every request they ever made of me? Absolutely. Even though I had taken some prearranged breaks to go home briefly, I had more than made up for them on vacations when I worked nonstop. Barring those quick breaks, for an entire year I had been “on duty” twenty-four hours a day
Jersey for a visit. During the day, there were thirteen of us running around making a cozy and crazy house. I grew to love Angie. She and I spent many evenings together, playing cards and sharing stories. Angie told me about when Danny had first come to Hollywood and only had two bus tokens to rub together; he would ride the bus all night just to get some sleep. When things got really bad, he would call Angie and ask for a few bucks to tide him over. She would always send money to him when she