Your Accomplishments Are Suspiciously Hard to Verify: A Dilbert Book
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
The latest collection from best-selling cartoonist Scott Adams that touches on the subject of underperforming and sneaky co-workers.
Inside Your Accomplishments Are Suspiciously Hard to Verify, Adams tackles the subjects of Elbonian slave labor, faulty product recalls, less-than-anonymous employee surveys, and more.
If you've ever looked among your co-workers and thought, "I hope feral cats eat every one of you," or briefly celebrated a well-deserved promotion only to realize that the word "promotion" now means that you're responsible for doing two jobs for the price of one, then chances are you find the corporate cubicle culture represented inside Dilbert alive and well inside your own work environment--and that's exactly what makes Dilbert so topical and funny.
From Dilbert's invention of a portable brain scanner (with a popcorn microwave option) to his moonlighting as a professional corporate crime scene cleaner, Your Accomplishments Are Suspiciously Hard to Verify chronicles pointless projects, interminable meetings, and ill-conceived office policies one Dilbert strip at a time.
Speak of your project in glowing, hypothetical terms, under the guise of making some larger point, and hope that repetition makes it stick. For example, you could say, “Suppose my project saves $10 million. That would be twice as good as Carl’s project, right?” If you throw around the $10 million figure often enough people will remember it as a fact. These are but a few of the many ways you can make your accomplishments difficult to verify. For more, study this book and pay special attention to
any strip featuring Wally. Good luck. Scott Adams
ISBN: 978-0-8362-0415-5 It’s Not Funny If I Have to Explain It ISBN: 978-0-7407-4658-1 Still Pumped from Using the Mouse ISBN: 978-0-8362-1026-2 Don’t Stand Where the Comet Is Assumed to Strike Oil ISBN: 978-0-7407-4539-3 Bring Me the Head of Willy the Mailboy! ISBN: 978-0-8362-1779-7 Words You Don’t Want to Hear During Your Annual Performance Review ISBN: 978-0-7407-3805-0 Shave the Whales ISBN: 978-0-8362-1740-7 When Body Language Goes Bad ISBN: 978-0-7407-3298-0 Dogbert’s Clues
appear in the comic strip DILBERT®, distributed by Universal Uclick and owned by Scott Adams, Inc. Licensed by Peanuts Worldwide. Your Accomplishments Are Suspiciously Hard to Verify copyright © 2011 by Scott Adams, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews. Andrews McMeel Publishing, LLC an Andrews McMeel Universal company 1130 Walnut Street, Kansas
Perceived success is a numbers game. Don’t be afraid to bounce from project to project. If you come in contact with enough random situations, sooner or later, by pure chance, you’ll end up working with someone competent. Then you can call that person your partner and claim coauthorship of every idea that comes out of his or her mouth. Try to use the phrase “I forget which one of us thought of that idea” whenever you get a chance. That way you’re not lying; you’re simply forgetting details that